I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
