Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
