I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
