dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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