So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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