Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
