we have pet lesbian snakes
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
