Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
