Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize