So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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