So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
