Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
