I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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