Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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