I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
