Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
