Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
