I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
