I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
