why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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