Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
