youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
