and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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