I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
