No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The air was thick with penises
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
