You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
