Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
