we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
