Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I fill condoms, not promises.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
