I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you win again, gameday.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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