You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
