is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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