tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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