dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
