I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
