She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
