i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
