i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Houston, we have a blender
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
