Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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