he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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