I wish I could teleport
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize