The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
