Are we in a gay sports bar?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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