Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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