Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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