At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
