I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
