return my video game
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
