I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
