so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
