I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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