Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
