Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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