do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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