Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
