Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
