Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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