Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
