I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
