What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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